um...i think thats all for now....its already late/early.....SLEEP!!!!! dont worry, therell be more complaining in the next post...ok thats all...bye...tata...nite.

im such a weirdo, no?....i mean, i hate my pics...all of them, yet i continue to put different ones all the time....i feel i have to, to prove that im real...i actually exist...if this life i lead could actually be considered existing...but anyway...

i like those tennis commercials that theyve been showing...mighty funny...especially the monica seles grunting one...haha....i remember i used to hate tennis, but after watching it all the time that there was nothing else on, well i think my brain has been conditioned already...of course these high tension things always cause me stress, but i still like it.

ive said it before, and ill say it again...i love that levis commercial with gael garcia bernal...mighty good...since i havent put a pic in a while, ill let mr bernal grace the area with his presence...whenever i start using funny words, well thats usually a sign that theres lack of sleep...um...yeah or something.

*give me a gum ball...please*

well today was mighty blah....woke up about 11, had my veggie burgers...watched some soaps..about 3 i decided to take a nap...didnt wake up til 730...eek...well, i was using up all my sleep time from the week...then pretty much just blah time...did a quick clean of the room...i need to rearrange my cds AGAIN!!! i know i go through them like 100 times a month...i need a new cd sorting/arranging system....listened to new pulp album...i love it...except for the title.."we love life"...no good...not good at all.

today i had some energies....thats good...not all weakish like usual....today i only had the veggie burgers for lunch....thats all i ate all day....but i dont care..let me waste away to nothing....but it will take quite a while for that to happen....i laugh in the face of food *haha*...well, right now im not really hungry...so woo

yay, they showed the conan rerun in which belle and sebastian perform "im waking up to us"...i love that song...plus its got melora from the band rasputina filling in for cello....it was mighty good...but ofcourse i already had it taped..

well, 1/2 of my monkey uncles has made it into the blog again...well, the uncle, who also happens to live next door to us, always has to do everything my dad does....yup, after my dad went to the hospital, he decided that after years of avoiding it, he too was gonna go have the checkup...so now hes over there getting cut up too...but the thing is, he hadnt gone just cos, my dad hadnt gone sooner due to financialness...my uncle has medicare and everything..so it will be free for him.....oh well, we well see how things progress.

um...had a dream...cant remember much of it....i do remember that i couldnt speak...AGAIN...i dont know what its me and dreaming that my voice doesnt work....i guess its cos nobody ever listens to me anyway....well, in the dream i can speak, but in a very weak voice...hmmm.

sometimes i think that my mom looks for any little thing to start argument...i want out....nowhere to run....

i hate the fact that i feel bad for the way that i am...i shouldnt, but sometimes it just hits me like a zap....and i do feel bad for myself....so in closing, i feel bad that i feel bad...um....yeah...

when i got home today i was mighty tired...around 9 i just dozed off...just for about 10 min though....im somewhat better now, but still tired....i guess i should go to sleep...well, i guess ill have plenty of time to rest anyway...blarg

when i was about to come home i noticed that my backpack was lighter...i had forgotten my cd case...eek...so back i go upstairs and retrieve my treasure...id prolly have to stab somebody if i lost 34 cds....but luckily i remembered...so it was all good.

guess thats all....blah

currently watching a live sigur ros vid(svefn-g-englar)......mighty good....love them....very floaty...very whale songish....very icelandic...yay.....well, watching the actual video of the song now......its gonna make me cry....its about how "special" people are angels....theyre dressed up in white with wings....so sad.....but its true, they are angels.....they dont know wrong....theyre happy cos they dont know better..they are angels....its sad....they have the cleanest souls....prettiest souls....pretties hearts.....they are angels......they are angels...they love everybody....angels in this hell called earth...very purty and touching video..watch it....its only 9 min long.....but worth it...it will make your heart cry and smile at the same time....mighty uber shibby...*cries* and it ends with a kiss too!!!!!!!!!......its just brilliant...*cries*

lunch....hm....it weird, but i cant really remember what i did...mostly walk around i think......hm...memory lapses....eek

well, the grant that was funding my job apperantly finished tue....so tomorrow im not coming in......according to boss man, the job is very likely to start again next week..but we will have to see wont we....just in case, im prolly gonna apply for the other position so that my application will already be there if nothing happens....so, this is my last 20 min....hopefully not my last last, but my last for now.....um..yes.....ive gotta turn in my books, didnt get to finish......oh well.

guess thats all for now.....maybe later ill have some thoughts to write.....prolly not.....

well, im here at work....just had a red flavored blowpop....woo......dont have to stay til 8...yay

i guess thats about it..blah

my dads finally home, so thats good....yucky cuts...thats bad.

um...sleep...yes..

too tired...cant think straight.....;p...hehe

well, so far it looks like im gonna be staying here AGAIN!!!!!!!!! eek!

well this morning boss man was here with me for like 2 hours....eek again!!!.....well, i was getting ready to write a post before lunch and guess what?....he comes back in the room and tells me to go to lunch with him cos the other boss man was on vacation....of course i HAD to go even though i was all like....NO!!!!!!!!...so i explain my whole eating thingy and he tells me just to order a salad......no way out.....so there i was stuck with him...went to lubys...talked about allergies to stuffs and astronomy...i knew he liked astronomy, so i laid it on thick....trying to make myself look somewhat knowledgable..i think it worked.....anyway, it was mighty uncomfortable...im gonna have nightmares......eek

today has been kinda slow here....havent meet the running kid quota yet....meep

it looks like rain outside...darkish....but havent seen a drop yet.

my goodness, i really am just floating through the days.....dunno how im doing it....11 hour days.....once again, eek!

tomorrow is pay day....second to last check....last check will be in 2 weeks, but it will be just for 3 days.

well, i guess thats it....blah.....more later...i guess......well, prolly not more, maybe less....dunno....yeah

yes, its official, i am now racoon boy...no, i dont go digging through trash(just sometimes), its cos im black eyed boy.....from tiredness...um..yes.

well, my dad didnt get out yesterday, so today i might have to stay til 8 again......atleast friday is my last day and ill get to rest...job.......ill worry about that after im rested.

yesterday when i left, the pretty boy and girl were still here....eek...also, i got to see pieces of 2 buffys yesterday...season 4 and 6........woo...but mostly i just book/people watched.

........more later.....

too tired.....too tired lately...had written more, but it got lost....so who fucking cares, im tired

more whenever.....blah

well, the cell phone up to now has been blank...i guess im gonna be staying til 8......eee...good thing im taping buffy.....but still....if i stay, ill prolly walk around again...look at peoples

a guy here at work lent me a radiohead dvd...the meeting people is easy one.....i guess ill watch that tonight and be ready to return it the next day...see, im good like that.

during lab i didnt read...i was watching music videos....i watched blur(of course!!!!!!) tori("1000 oceans" vid is mighty mighty good), moby, diamanda galas, bouncing souls(joe lies vid is mega mighty mighty good cos its filled with the cutey band members...mayhaps later ill put a pic of them), goldfrapp, lou reed, cant remember what else.....um.....the blur "no distance left to run" video is so cute.....well, its not anything break through like that, but its them being videoed whilst they sleep...well, i liked it much...now, the "born slippy" vid by underworld is kinda urg....its just a montage of trainspotting footage and some footage of the actual band just doing weird things....dunno...but it gets thumbs up cos its got ewan in it...so..woo....sometimes i think that the video ruins the song.

currently listening to cornelius....just feeling electro japanese right now.....

im not feeling as bad right now as you can tell from my somewhat unsad writing.

just saw a purty boy with a somewhat purty girl walk by.....blah

well, i guess thats all for now...leave me with my thoughts.

just here doing stuffs..well, work stuffs.....trying to tie up loose ends..."the man" doesnt have time for me today, so tomorrow he will be here to tell me what he wants done by friday...i already cleaned up and everything is purty much in its place...i am soon to be nothing but a vacancy

of course ive been listening to musics.....morrissey, david bowie, the doves, and pulp...havent listened to blur today...let them rest a bit...but ill prolly listen to them later...mostly i was in a morrissey mood...silent and grey mood.....*sigh* right now, ive been listening to "wide eyed boy from freecloud" over and over and over....by david bowie btw....well, i just like the first half...very sad and beautiful.

ive noticed, whenever there is a drug movie or something thats supposed to deter your want to experiment, however it just seems to draw me in....death?....is that all?...but i get to float you say....to escape reality..to be numb from the horrors of being different.....heroin be the death of me...oh dont mind me.....just look away.

2 birds have hit the window today.....both have flown away.

dunno, ive just taken up the hobby of being chronically sadish....not good at all...and then im also forced to watch happy couples walking around...adding to my downfall...cruelty.....

almost time for lab....prolly read the book i checked out about drug addiction and junkies....why am i reading such sadness and depressing things you say?....im a masochist for it....i eat sadness....i absorb it....let it be mine...you be happy, ill take your pain.

i still dont know if ive got to stay til 8 again.....ill know later when i check my cell phone......if not, i get to go at 6...

i feel like curling up into a little ball and staying like that...

ok, thats all..ill spread more happiness later.....

lunch lunch..time for lunch

i hate it that i always write such odd emails to the unsuspecting....eek....

anyway, more later.

i feel sick with everything thats going on.....everything is just joining together to make a big ball of sickness

*sigh*

got home at about 835....eek, i hate eating so late...

time is getting closer....

thoughts are jumbled right now...elarjeljaofdasld...tired...sometimes i think i push myself too hard, and sometimes not...i wish i could do it just halffway....pushing too hard lately...tired....going to sleep...

blah blah blzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

just here listening to trainspotting soundtrack.....new order right now...*up down turn around..please dont let me hit the ground*....oh oh oh...um...yes

its been really blah....creepy new guy was in the lounge....hes not the good kind of creepy like me....hes icky creepy..eek

after i get out ill prolly walk around.....or watch buffy....dunno if i really want to sit for 2 more hours til i go home...prolly walk around and be creepy and look for interesting peoples....therell prolly just be old folk...blah

a woman that works here has given her 2 weeks cos she cant work anymore, has a tumor.....ive got a dilema, should i apply for that position?...its in the reference area....thered be no more glass cage...get to interact with peoples, but also prolly be all stressed out by them....its only part time, but its permanent...and this job is 90% gonna end this week......dunno dunno....

now its the blur song......yay!!!!!!!! *sing to me* wont you.....hm

1 month til the new season of buffy starts....woo

well i guess thats all for now......more later maybe....later...ta

well, its almost time for lunch...gonna return harry potter book and search for my next conquest...

lets see, ive been listening to rasputina, diamanda galas, velvet underground, and of course blur...its just too great...blur is......cant get enough

ive been scanning stuffs....and also, had my buffy talk with a coworker.....and she also tested my geography.....easy.

well, i guess thats it...later

im here....here.....here in my head...and at work too...

its supposed to be mighty hot today...low hundreds....eek

just 11 more hours to go......then i can go home....

*sigh*...oh well.....i guess thats that......

now im going to sleep....you too...go on...SLEEP!!!!

nite

damon wishes to sing me to sleep...so yeah...sing away...bring nice dreams to us all

ill be nice and link this time...;p

*la la la la*

see, i knew i could do it...i read the last 300 pages of the harry potter book...see, when you have no life, anything is possible...woo..ok, im not gonna be evil and say that i read the four books cos somebody made me...im gonna admit that i enjoyed them....im gonna admit that i was being a stupid cow in not wanting to read them just cos i didnt want anything to do with pop culture...im gonna admit that i was wrong and my friend was right and that im glad that i read them....he is alright(my friend, not harry...well harry is alright too, but mostly my friend)...um...yes...well i guess i should watch the movie soon....i guess

well, i prolly only have a week left of work...i guess i could still get one more book in before its over...before the library is over...i guess i could try to finish one of the other books that i started...or maybe the david bowie or yoko ono book....ill have plenty of time to decide since im gonna have to be there from 9-8 again cos of my father...but i think hes coming home tuesday, but will be pretty much on light living for 5 months...then, who knows if he will ever be able to work again...or if anybody will want him...thats all we need, both him and me being jobless at the some time....no money....many hospital bills....life bills....too much

they showed more andrea bocelli on pbs again...and even the sarah brightman/andrea bocelli duet of "time to say goodbye"...that was good....

no nap today either...eek

sometimes i think im a bad person cos the wrong things make me sad....the things that should make me sad just cause indifference...i am indifferent

ennui...i should just change my name to ennui....thats pretty much my life...ennui...plus, its fun to say...ennui

if my job ends then my contant to the outer world will pretty much sever....hermit me...again

*chibi chibi* ..um...yes

maybe ill be able to meet somebody in the last five days....maybe...hopefully....maybe...prolly not...five days wont matter

i guess thats all....ive been kinda blah lately, no?....havent been writing much....ill try to be a better person...try to write more...my best usually isnt enough...ill try...ok

bye.....much love...talk to me(like lovers do....hehe..sorry, got lost in song..eek)...bye

went to sleep early again...ive just been very tired lately...too tired...everything is wearing me out...im just a husk

i already had my veggie burgers....i still dont know if that was my lunch or my lunch/supper....dunno

watched some skateboading on tv...some sailor moon....and now some mens beach volleyball...im prolly gonna start reading in a few...you know theres nothing to show on telly when they start showing little league baseball...eek

had myself an alien dream last night...it had everything, even cornfields...but i didnt see any aliens, it was just a dream about ufos and aliens...um...yes

listening to the new pulp....woo

me...happy?.....no..just trying

*somebody*

today was kinda long cos i didnt take a nap in all day, and i was awake by 930.....

of course i watched some sailor moon...but of course...and buffy...mmhmmm

i read alot also, see, im already more than halfway done....oh the things we do

i was feeling mighty bad a couple of hours ago, but now im better....im better if i dont think about it...so i wont really go into it..

today im gonna be alone all day again....so im prolly just gonna try to finish the book...

my stray cat eats cheese...strange.

im stuck here....stuck here forever....

i dont like the new blues clues!!!!! eek....come back steve...

ive been watching alot of sailor moon lately....i guess thats cos its a sure thing to make me smile...*star serious laser*..ee

today ill prolly read alot and watch videos..its just me here....all alone....its prolly gonna be like this for a week more....ive nobody....just the moon

i already did my bit of creepiness and watched people out the window....activity...car washing....woo

well, they had to cut my dad open...so, hes prolly gonna be at the hospital for about a week or more...dunno....

ive been very floaty....

back from lunch...pb and coke...again and again and again.

im still mighty tired....ill get to rest all weekend...hopefully

all sorts of cloudish outside....dark even, looks like rain, but prolly not

well, i best be back to work doing.

almost time for lunch...eh

ive been mighty sleepish this morning....im gonna zone out....

my pulp vs blur rant.......damon is better looking and has a better voice....jarvis writes better songs with mighty good lyrics..hmm....well, ill keep them both...yay.

ok...la

well, this morning I had to come in 1 hour early…so I read some..which is good I guess..my mom is prolly gonna be at the hospital all day and maybe all night and maybe til tomorrow…dunno..im to go with my cousin again…but its ok cos we get out at 5….it ok

this morning I went wild..a blow pop AND a jolly rancher…..wah

today ill prolly spend my ears listening to pulp and rasputina…..and a side order of damon of course……now, pulp I truly truly love…its not just an obsession……pulp is just too good….and it nice that jarvis cocker(pulp) and damon albarn(blur) are good friends…so yay….lets all be friends….the rasputina cover of belle and sebastians “fox in the snow” is tre shabby…melora(rasputina) is mighty good at sounding like the original singer in most of her covers…and shes purty too…..ee…..which reminds me, I need more belle and sebastian albums..

“i need someone to take some joy in something I do…” belle and sebastian – “im waking up to us” …yes, I know that I already used that lyric in a past posting, but its just too true…..had to use it again.

mermaid man!!!!!!.....sorry..*clears throat” urm…yes

that’s all for now…..maybe more later..depends on my mood.

well, i didnt get home til 845...tired....

whilst waiting for those 2 hours i watched tv...sponge bob, buffy, and some old betty davis movie...and i read some harry potter...but of course my eyes were killing me from being over there all day long....eek

so when i got home nobody was here, my mom didnt get here til about 915....i ate like til 930...veggie burgers...i had to wait cos there was nothing at home...no bread or anything...tomorrow ill prolly be home alone too...dunno...later today is when they decide if my dad needs to have heart surgery or just balloons in arteries....either thing sounds eek....one thing is for sure, i do not wanna go anywhere near the hospital...any hospital....no no no...hospital=trip to swoon city...and not the good type of swoom mind you..the evil swoon...hit your head on the corner of the desk swoon....eek.

well atleast there was one good thing, in the mail there was a package...it was the new pulp and rasputina that i ordered...so that made me happy....new music is always good.

change is good, but...depends on the type of change....it could be changing for the worst....degressing instead or progressing...going back into the shell...just depends.

sadness isnt too bad right now...was worse earlier....but who knows.

i guess thats it, im going to sleep early...too tired.

i guess thats it ..... tata....leave me to myself....

in the few min that ive been here ive already heard TWO social distortion songs....TWO......i think that the punk net radio is trying to spite me...eek....atleast they werent "drug train"....thats all i need.

just here in my glass cage.....nothing much happening.....i guess i still have 3 hours to go.......eek

the cell phone is too loud.....i called my sister and it sounded like she was yelling...i didnt even have to have it close to my head....mighty loud

when i get home its gonna be too late to eat...all i had was my 1 pb sandwich at 12....*sigh*

the atmosphere here has gotten very blah since school has started........now all children are crowding the area after school....eek...

well...bye.....smile? me?....dont think so.

*sigh* ive gotta stay till 815.....ive gotta go with my cousin cos my mom is still at the hospital with my dad....oh well....i guess ill get some reading done today.

.................................
............................................
....................................................
........................................*sigh*

now im all sadish

thats all, my mind cant work.

gah, theyre always giving "drug train" by social distortion....if i have to hear this song one more time.......every single day..seriously......please, no more "drug train"....why not "sick boy" or "story of my life" or something...nooooooo...what i really want to hear is "dont drag me down", thats one of my favs.......oh well, its now over...now it the clash..so its ok i guess.....moo

during lunch was pretty blah..i was gonna type pretty vacant cos thats the song thats on right now.haha......anyway...i read some, but then started talking with my cousin who also happens to work with me...he lent me the princess mononoke soundtrack.....should be good...i lent him "the lost and found" from rasputina...mighty good ep.

the old ladies came and went....not really much bugging happened.....however, when they left, the room stayed smelling of ointment or something....eek....the smell has since subsided...;p

in the lounge an ant was on me!!! now i keep feeling little ant like movements all over my body....just my craziness.

no interesting people sighted yet....there is a surfer like dude right outside the room..blonde hair and all...gnarly...hehe....other than that just regular library weirdos, thats it.

ok....more later i guess...la

eek!!!!!!!! i keep blanking out about today.....its happy birthday to myra ellen amos!!!!!!!...i kept talking about it the other day,and now that its here i forget...eek!! anyway, happy birthday tori.

*meow*

ok, now on to actual work... ;p

yes, im here again....work work work......in about 40 min there is gonna be a swarm of old folk....eek.....some stupid treasure hunt...treasure as in geneological stuffs...family tree etc....theyre gonna be in and out of my cage.

today i have 2 nico cds to listen to and depeche mode.....ill try not to get stuck on blur or trainspotting soundtrack...but of course i will hear them...duh

today the cats are away...for most of the day i think...i dont have to be "on the look out guy"..yay.

i know i say it everyday, but maybe today..maybe today....blah blah blah happy, blah blah blah see purty people, blah blah blah read

buffy musical soundtrack is ready to preorder...yay.....but i wont just yet.....mayhaps in mid sept.

sometimes i think that this here is the only thing that is real....its real cos it is me....even if i may not be the realest person......its all i have...its me...maybe im real(no, not the j-lo song.haha)..yes, sillyness is so unbecoming of me.

ok, more later...la

well....blah

on the way home they gave some abba..."dancing queen"...always a good song....everything else on the radio was pretty much crap...um...also, heard "heroes", but not the original david bowie one...it was the wallflowers one...eek

lately my energies seem to be fluctuating....one day yay the next day blah...today was blah...running on empty..

lately ive had nothing to say...im just going down hill

a while ago i looked out the window and saw a heli...either that or a ufo...but im purty sure it was a heli

i guess thats all ....night...

time to go home in a couple of min....woo...im kinda tired...zzzzz

today i had another poor birdie fly into the window....thankfully it flew away, and not throw there on the floor.

scanned another map and listened to trainspotting soundtrack....again...again...and again...eek

does anybody have an extra spork...what for? just for sporkish goodness...thats all...

ta.

well, ive been busy all day long..havent had time to write that im bored or blah or anything...eek

ive been scanning pictures and what not all day long...busy busy busy.

well, so far im on page 11 of the book...haha...yes i know...*slaps self*

all morning i was listening to the live blur album....especially the songs "beetlebum" and "no distance left to run"...theyre so great live....they send chills down my spine....wah..also listened to my mix cd 1....best song on that? "paint the silence" by south....its just so dreamy...floaty....sad....its just great.

some somewhat purty people today...but just *sigh* nothing.....they are nobody...theyre just fixtures in the room.....me....im the still life...still life of an empty bowl....people know im there, but nobody looks....theres nothing interesting about an empty bowl...

during lunch the ladies were watching the an old sci-fi show complete with laughable alien....i now that im gonna end up dreaming about it..eek....then, they changed the channel and started watching an old movie with robert redford...wah.

well i guess thats it for now...more later

ps....thumbs up for tim.

red.....this morning i ate a red flavored blow pop.....yeah

this morning on the world news thingy, i saw a report on how theyve made a new punk rock baby record...so, you can put your babies asleep with that instead of your usual classical....songs by the clash, sex pistols, ramones..etc....interesting concept....baby punk muzik.

on a scale of 1-10 id say that my stability right now is about...6.....6 seems about right.

well i guess thats all for now.....see, im mighty mega blah.

well, nothing much happening here at home either...blah

watched buffy of course...mighty good

another loverly moon tonight...oh moon

i guess today i did better than yesterday...so i guess thats good.

well, i didnt do much reading in lab...about 3 pages...haha...spent most of my time web surfing, mostly blur websites.....most have gone under...nobody remembers them anymore.....oh well...and of course thats what im listening to right now...duh.

dunno what else....um...buffy tonight!!!!!!!! in 130 hours!!!! wah....and a month til the new season starts...meow

gah..sunlight......evil sunlight....its streaming through all the windows....eek.....

i guess i can tally today as a same ol day....nothing, nobody, blah

well, i guess thats it, leave me to my blur overdose...

almost time for lab....nothing exciting has befallen me

just finished listening to some depeche mode....*sigh*...yes i know

gah, ive been mighty sleepy...zzzzzzzz the oldness is growning on me....the oldness of the room...eek

just about 2 and half more hours to go...then home....meh

yeah yeah yeah........life blah blah blah.....ok, im done....let me listen to hope sandoval sing "heroin" in peace.

well...you pretty much know how my lunch went....yep...blah squared.

had my peanutbutter and rc cola.....mhm...something different...well, ill pretty much drink anything..meh

listening to "i think were alone now"...*sigh* that song makes me sad.

well, one good thing happen i guess....im gonna be hurting my eyes for the next few days cos i found the fourth harry potter book, so ill start that during lab...eek...my eyes are gonna fall out.

several workers have told me that they like my hair jet black...i dunno, i dont, i want it some odd shade...oh well...the normal for the normal.

ok, thats all for now.

ive been feeling really low today......just floating around....see, even a lady that works here said that there was something different about me, i looked different...dunno what really, maybe she saw the emptyness...earlier i was ready to burst...break down...im a bit better right now....not by much

most of the morning i listened to mazzy star..mostly the first 2 songs....but i guess that doesnt really help the situation...now ive decided to let damon sing to me some more...dunno, lately ive been all into blur...dunno why...see, im glad i got the best of now...ill just listen to damon sing to me all day long...stick myself in a damon vortex.....let his voice comfort me a bit.

almost ready for lunch...ill prolly just walk around....my life.....wonder aimlessly through time and space... :/ thats me, emotional life nomad.

well atleast i have buffy to look forward to later tonight....that will put a smile on my face...even though it is the one where she thinks shes crazy....*sigh*

ok....bye.

well im here at work feeling....well, not really feeling....just here

oh...theyre give "too drunk to fuck" by dead kennedys on the punk net....first time ive heard them play this on there.....woo...arg, now its social distortion....they play them like a million times...i like them and all, but they dont play the sd songs that i like...oh well....mike ness is cool any way..

purple blow pop again....i think they just put like all but one purple in the pack.....eek

*sigh* dunno......dunno......

ps..small smile cos people are leaving me lil messages...so *weak yay*

tonight there was a mighty purty full moon....very nice...but i couldnt really go out and enjoy it cos my mum was all paranoying me with tales of that nile fever thingy with the mosquitos...i had to settle for window watching....i want the moon...will somebody give it to me?...or a star...a little star...yes..somebody.

a while ago i listened to some songs by flaming lips, cibo matto, os mutantes, and more trainspotting of course.

its myra ellens(thats tori to you nonbelievers) birthday in 2 days....wah....um...39 i think...yes, im already thinking about getting the new album.

i know most of the time it seems that i invent my little problems and that i really have non at all...but lately theyve been adding up...its getting harder to pretend that everything is ok...its too hard....a few hours ago i was ready to have myself a little break down...alot of things happening...first of all, theres my broken lonely heart, but i know this me me me is stupid, and then theres my dad...yes, i know that i come off as not caring anything about him...but still...well anyway, hes been very sick lately...everynight after sleeping for a couple of hours he has to get up due to pains...he went to the doctor today and they said that he might need to have heart surgery...well find out thursday...then theres also my grandmother...now shes been at deaths door for the past few years...it coudl happen any moment...and my mom...shes always sick...she never gets a good nights sleep cos of pain...and doctors, well theyre too expensive.....all i can think about is a 2 parent death..and me...me getting stuck with all the bills...thousands of dollars worth...not being able to pay them....not being able to take care of myself...i do think that if they both died that id probably end up killing myself...i wouldnt be able to make it...it wouldnt be possible...and im just so useless..and if not, id end up stuck here forever paying bills and alone...alone forever.....and then theres my job...well, its a temporary job...and its set to end august 31...that like in 2 weeks...now, they want to keep me, but its not their choice...seeing as how its a city job, its the city that decides...so right now its a waiting game..50/50...thats all i need, be jobless for another 2 years....so you see, i do think that i have valid stress causers...i do have reasons to be sad...smile? what for....the world is falling apart....and im here, and im alone...what do i have to put smiles on my face?...inanimate objects....music, purty pics of purty peoples, nothing more...nothing......im just gonna get a big ol bucket of chicken and eat all my problems away...or a tub of lard or something...but i do know that if one of these fears does come true, that ill prolly slip into a deep sadness....again..or maybe insanity....ok, enough of that

lets end with a happy thought....cant really think of one....maybe somebody will give me one..yes?

ok, goodnite, mayhaps a happy day at work later today.

well its almost time to go home.......yet another day is done....nothing much accomplished life wise....just stewed away in this room...the glass cage...just listening to damon albarn(blur) sing to me....YES, hes singing to me....also a reference to the current lyric...hehe...so, hes singing to me cos my inner child is dead...there he is!!!! yes, thats a diff pic than last time, the other died

i guess thats all for now.....eh.

um...nothing much has happen...just blah with a side of blah...yes

had another purple blow pop, i just bit it off so that i wouldnt have to drag the stick around....yes, im begging to crack a tooth.

currently playing with a paper clip...yeah, its one of those oddly shapped ones....with those 2 arm thingies...um...dunno.haha

i should be reading, but im traveling the net instead...yeah yeah....and my eyes are starting to hurt.....eek

um...buffy buffy buffy.......buffybuffybuffy...buffy.....ok, im done...buffy. ;p

oh!!!!! buffy musical soundtrack will finally be released on September 24, 2002.......wah!!!!! must get it......must get it......also, plans to do another musical episode...well, thats what the magazine said...um.....entertainment weekly i think...to quote...hear more of emma/anya....hmm.....interesting.

well im back....*sigh*

looked through the books, couldnt find any that caught my attention...yes, im judging books by their covers...i know i know...eek..but i didnt get to go through all the shelves...i just dont know what to read any more...

maybe ill see some interesting people in the 5 hours that i have left...well not maybe, hopefully...maybe...

yes, i had peanut butter and coke...and some water also.

atleast i got the use of the lovely stairs again....but i prolly already said that....cant remember....too lazy to go read past posts..

i still feel like im just floating through my days....passing through people...here but not....dunno.

ok, moo.

well nothing interesting has occured....

almost time for lunch...woo....im gonna return 2 books and maybe look for more...maybe.

i need some coke cos im feeling slothish...zzzzzzzzz

sometimes i think time goes by slow and sometimes fast...today seems to be going moderately.

i had a dream this morning...too weird to really comprehend....um....i made 2 puppets...1 blue dragon, the other a green and orange 2 headed dragon??? dunno.....haha...i gave them to my mum...um....cant really remember what else...yes, weird.

listened to sinead, pulp, some punk net radio, and now im back to trainspotting...i get things stuck in my head to easily...eek.

ok, i leave you to your will...*waves*

"Let your feelings slip boy
But never your mask boy"

from "born slippy" underworld

well here i am at work...nothing much happening..just sitting here in the dark....i dont like turning on the lights...surrounded by windows any way....only when somebody comes in do i turn them on...but not for me, im an owl.

today i had a blow pop as part of my breakfast....flavor?..purple.

listened to trainspotting soundtrack 1 this morning...and now again....yay...dunno, lately ive been feeling all cluby...music makes me feel somewhat alive....even though i cant dance...its nice...to imagine...yes, im listening to "born slippy"

listened to reports of the company picnic which happened sat....pretty blah except for the part where the ants ate the cake...so that was brilliant....good ants.

ok, thats all for now..more later..ta

i hate it, i only get crap email...oh well..meh...i guess its better than receiving the type of psychobabble that i send out...eek.

i need a reason..........

um...i guess thats all....must sleep for work...blah...ok bye..

spspspspsp....um....just a regular sunday..mighty blah..

well, i was gonna sleep all day, but i decided to be a good boy and read...i hadnt been reading all week...i was able to finish "the bell jar"..finally, i can get away from that book...its good and everything, but its not really something that i should be reading at this point in my life...i dont need extra negativity...whilst reading, i did feel somewhat bad...not a good feeling...now im gonna feel like im in the bell jar..its gonna be hanging over my head now...eek....i guess now i can finish one of the other books..

i had a horrible roachy encounter a while ago...lets just say that flying was involved...oh the trauma...the horror!!!

there was more x-games goodness today...at noon then at night....woo...also had a dose of buffyness.

todays nap was just 3 hours long...only

mmmm...yes.

um....i guess thats gonna do it for now....should be asleep...but ill prolly sleep all day anyway so eh...

ok, thats all...bye...go on....bye..

i guess im pretty emtpy..word wise...i already used up my minds contents in the earlier post...eek

watching the gypsy kings on snl rerun...what happen to them...

ok, now im officially gonna be sick...its attack of the teeny boppers...first i hear about britney being on buffy next season, now theres the backstreet boys on arthur...how could they...2 of my fav shows....eek!!!!!

again i say it...EEK!!!!!

well, its been a typical saturday....yep, most of the day was spent bumming around...got up at 130, ate, watched some tennis....read some....watched x-games...took a nap...dunno remember what else, but when i was finally awake, it was about 710 already...

well, whilst napping i had a dream...since i had been watching the x-games before snoozing i dreamt about those skater boys....i dont really remember, but i think that the skating competition was taking place outside our house...haha...so there was loads of peoples....then one of the famous ones was talking to me and i was all excited...i was all like "wait til my friends find out"(what friends?)...then he went to talk to others...so i went in the house and was looking for some magnets...some skateboard magnets...dunno why...haha...i wanted to give one to him....then dunno...i guess they left....oh yeah, i remembered something else....i guess this dream was combined with another cos i remember there were these 2 kids and i wanted to yell at them, but my voice had left me(again with this) but then when i tried again i was able to...so yay....

im watching andrea bocelli on pbs right now....woo....its either that or elvis...ill choose andrea...also listening to music "sexy boy" by air....i love that song with its frenchness...haha....and of course the sexy boy gorilla in the video...yes..andrea is singing "time to say goodbye" how dare he do it without sarah brightman...well i guess she does it without him also, but still...i think it sounds best when they do it together...oh well.

dinner...what did i have for dinner...today my dinner consisted of a banana, some peanuts( i eat peanut butter everyday, and i still eat peanuts...eek) strawberry grape juice, 3 sets of popsicles(red, yellow, purple), and a bag of chile picante cornnuts....should i worry about my eating habits...

geesh, ive really got to empty out the trash can in my room, its got banana peels, and cornnut bags, a fries bag, and other lil misc....:p

now its time for bel canto and "dewy fields"...yay

well, today i rationalized sleeping so much on weekends to myself, i told myself that if i didnt sleep i would start having some of my wonderful thoughts and i would just become sad, so if i sleep i wont have time to be sad....sounds about right....well before i napped away today, i got a bit thought started....i started thinking how it was almost gonna be fall...and how i love fall....and it made me sad cos i wouldnt have anybody to share fall with.....fall has its wonderful days with its wonderful cool winds and its colors...and it makes for great strolling or just star gazing, and i really want somebody to share my happiness with...the happiness of doing nothing with somebody....so now i dont want fall to come cos i will feel that it is just being wasted on me...oh well, if i stay locked in my room i wont have to witness it that much......and so thats why i decided to bed potato myself....

now theyre showing yo-yo ma...i like him...especially when he came out on arthur...which im obsessed with...hehe....yo-yo ma is mighty good...good cello-y goodness.

now its "bells ring" by mazzy star...woo...the songs that im listening to right now are the songs that i used when i made cd for a friend....i put them on the comp and never deleted them...go figure...i kept them so that i could listen to them without having to put the cd in...besides, these are my favorite smile songs...songs that make me feel....music is happiness, music is sadness, music is anger, but these songs to me are emotions, my emotions...so in reality, the cd with these songs that i made was a piece of me...a naked display of my emotions....they are me....now its "i know" by fiona apple...*sigh*....but i guess that i dont know....i just dont know what im doing......oh fiona...now whenever i hear fiona its gonna give me negative thoughts about myself...for she is now correlated with computer guy...long story...but who cares..well i guess not all her songs, just "across the universe"...anyway, now its "crowds" by the bauhaus....music should have a warning on it...may cause distress...take in small doses...

well another thought that i had today....i need to go away!!!! there is nothing for me here...nothing nor nobody....i think that the only way this would happen though is if i went to college...a real college...and stayed over there...worry about the bill later....there really is nothing for me here....only my crazy mind keeps me here...i have no friends here....no love interests here...i just have a nowhere job....i have no future here....i guess the only thing ive got is my stray cat...its all really depressing....and then the book that im reading "the bell jar"...which im just reading for bad reasons, isnt helping much...i dont need to be reading about the downward spiral of life....insanity....shock treatment...slitting wrists.....everything around me is gonna gang up on me and drive me crazy-er....yikes.

now "nina" by pj harvey........and now "falling" by julee cruise.......boy, these songs are really mooding me out.....now its "id love to" by morrissey....*there ive said it loud and clear....so that you will hear...theres no one in view...just you....just you...and time will never wipe you out...* thats how i feel right now...i wish i could just say it...but i cant..and then after the whole experience of my 1 week pseudo-relationship...i dont know if i could take any more let downs...it might destroy any happy emotions that i still may have.

now its "afraid" by nico....*sigh* this is the soundtrack to my life...whatever little life i have...

now its "satellite of love" by milla jovovich.....ok, im done for now..this thing took me like 1 and a half to write...eek......who says that insanity + boredom dont make for interesting writing...woo...im gonna roll up into a little ball now....what am i gonna do with myself..now "savean" by dead can dance....sometimes i wonder why i do this....the blogger i mean, i could say its for me, but then i again i could just as well do it on paper just for me...but then i dont think that i do it for people cos my life really doesnt have any purpose...i dunno, im gonna stop thinking...head hurts...eek. but maybe somebody like its....just one person....i guess that would be ok... :)

ps if somethings dont make sense, well i didnt go back and read....too much...id prolly just end up changeing everything if i went back, so its prolly all weird, but thats how i do everything...blog, emails...if i go back, ill just try and make it pleasant..so no..ok, now im done...really...

quiet you!!!!





i just had to put this one...hehe











Which Hogwarts Student Are You?




find out what you are here

good nite and thank you....again...hehe

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 3:25:00 a. m.

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hm...i guess i didnt go to sleep did i...:p

today i watched some sailor moon!!! i had been neglected this past obsession...ill prolly watch more in the following days...of course it made me laugh....i still like sailor iron mouse..shes mighty funny.

sometimes i think that i work myself too hard, and something not hard enough....its never just fine, its either or.....not good.

i wish i was creative....i might have been, but those juices are long dry....im just the leftover shell....i just want to be good at something....a good person.....i want to be a good person...i think im too not nice...i know scaring people is fun, but i shouldnt do it, even if it lets me smile a while...also, i wish i could get along with people...i just cant, as proven by my computer guy saga(its long finished)..i cant even get along with myself or my relatives, and i want to get along with others....eek....i wish i could sing, if i could sing id be the happiest person in the world, people gifted with a yummy voice are so lucky....color me mega unlucky...

now im going to sleep....ta

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 2:59:00 a. m.

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what am i doing?...sometimes i dont know why i do certain things...its a momentary lapse in my brain..seems good at the time...then, blammo...its just me...

im just too sleep to think....sleep is good...sleepy goodness..woo

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 2:29:00 a. m.

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um....dunno if this is scary or funny....a little of both...these are some searches that people did and somehow arrived here according to the meter thinger...yes, these are real.

*Briteny Spears naked
*Briteny Spears naked free
*where does briteny spears buys jeans
*italy babes nighty moving
*naked pics of Tobey Maguire

now, i dunno how some of these things even got people here...but theyre listed, so somehow they did....eek....hmm...mayhaps if i type in britney spears alot of times more people will visit....very interesting....

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:43:00 a. m.

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poor julian, he had to sit whilst he sang....hope he gets better soon so that he can be leaping around....but fabs ok..so thats good...nobody better hurt fab..

cruel cruel world!!!! ok well you know how im always with my "i wanna see morrissey!!!!!" well, he was gonna have a show in el paso, of course i cant go...well, that el paso show sold in record time and due to demand, morrissey has agreed to add another el paso show!!!!...see, im being taunted....2 shows one sep 2 one sep 3....cruelty!!!! 2 shows here in texas, and i cant go to either!!!! :'

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 12:52:00 a. m.

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the strokes are on conan!!!!!!!

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 12:30:00 a. m.

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viernes, agosto 16  

well, i got a fly by bird today....atleast he wasnt killed.

about 20+ more min....woo

i think they finished the stairs already.....they had better or else i might have to go buffy on them...

um......blah......i guess thats it....til later......bye.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 4:35:00 p. m.

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everything is mighty blah....a while ago i had to go drink some water and get some jollyranchers cos i was gonna go to sleepy time....im somewhat more waken now....somewhat.

i scared 2 people within a 5 min lapse...it seems im somewhat sneakish...well it made me smile ;)

its been slow, i guess now that school has started its gonna be slow til research and midterm times arise.....oh well.

just about an hour an some left to go...woo..i guess.

i guess thats it...nothing interesting to report.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 3:39:00 p. m.

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why do we do crazy things?.....dunno...im crazy doing thing guy....ill try to stop...really.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:09:00 p. m.

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well im back i guess....had my pbh(peanutbutter and honey) and coke....woo

ive broken myself from my trainspotting rut and am now listening to transglobal underground...still clubby but now more world clubish...yeah, huh? where else are you gonna hear a middle eastern woman singing in spanish with a cockneyed guy rapping...dunno...well, its mighty good.

im feeling a bit better now....just a lil bit...but a bit is good...would a bite be better....?

well i guess id best get to work....bye.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:09:00 p. m.

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well, i guess i was ok as i stated, however when i started listening to the trainspotting soundtracks they made me mighty sad.....sad songs....happy songs, but mostly sadish songs....i was ready to burst...but its already left me....trainspotting used to be my mostest favorite movie ever during my depressive period...it always made me cry...it still like it oodles, but i dont think that its my mostest favorite any more...but its in my top 3 movies...

its almost time for lunch....i guess i might read since ive been neglecting my reading.

i like the born slippy song...mighty good....but at 9+ min. it might be a tad too long.

IM ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

ill go now :(

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 11:47:00 a. m.

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im here!!!!!! yeah i know, *whatever*

ive started with the candy already....so early...but its ok cos im not enjoying it, its yucky rum flavored lifesavers...yesterday i ate 3 rolls of lifesavers.....they saved my life....haha...SUGAR!!!!!!! now all i have left is the rum roll....almost done with it though...

the stairs are still out of order....no!!!!!!!!!

so far im feeling fine....just dandy.

purty people today?...dunno, ill have to wait til 1 cos thats when the library opens today...oh well.

today i have trainspotting soundtrack 1 & 2 to keep me company...itll be like a one man disco.....

ok, the rummys are gone.....yuck/yum

more later.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 9:29:00 a. m.

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well its friday already...again....time seems to go too fast...time is running by me and it laughs as it passes me...as i wither away in its path...eek...

today i ran the full gamot of emotions...that just seems to be me lately....i was ok, then i was sad, then i was ok, then i cried, then i was just fine...dunno....weird.

i need the warmth of somebody...i need them to warm up my cold deadd body....i want to be warm..

i think thats about it....sleepy....gnite...or something...

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:07:00 a. m.

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jueves, agosto 15  

im in a creepish mood.....yup, im listening to creep...almost time to go home......woo i guess

purty people...where are you? i think i just saw one purty person today....no more...... :(

ok, im done cos blogger is being evil and not publishing....

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 5:52:00 p. m.

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ive been listening to sinead alot lately...but that always happens to me, i have my little bouts of obsession..soon she will fade away again to rest under a sheet of dust waiting to be rediscovered in a few years...but she will never die for the seed will blossom...die...then rise like the phoenix to once again inhabit my heart...i think this makes it my third sinead obsession...huh...may it last.

song i had in my head earlier.."pretty boys and pretty girls" by book of love...dunno why....well i guess i do know why :p well anyway, it was in my head whilst i climed the stairs......oh yeah, they closed the stairs!!!!!!! now i have to use the elevator!!!!! eek....no, im not scared of the elevator, i just like using the stairs...of course im like the only staff person that uses them.....eh

sfssfsfsffsf......um.....um...i guess thats it for now...

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 4:30:00 p. m.

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im here just getting ready to work..eating some lifesavers...just being me...currently hearing the damned...just being me.

today im gonna get alot of work done....really i am....FOR REAL!!!

saw a dead kitty on the road :(

pay day :)

well, i guess thats all for now..more later, you know it........ok ya.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 9:13:00 a. m.

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"...I know it's over...and it never really began...but in my heart it was so real..." the smiths - i know its over"...ok, well those are the lyrics for my current situation....*sigh* oh well, moving on....

well i guess i was worrying about nothing...no tornadic activity or scary anythings....just blah....oh well

am i purposely driving myself crazy?...seems that way...

today after i got home i just felt very drained...dunno....past few days ive been energyless...i didnt even read...let my eyes rest

well, on the ride home my somber mood was rudely interupted with the song "walking on sunshine"...thats twice i hear that this week...oh well, all was made well when i heard some shibby 80s song..."the promise" by when in rome...

"I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you'll wait around awhile, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you I will. "

those lyrics are SO me....im so psycho about lyrics i know i know...eek.....anyway, theres just something about music from that decade....it just makes everything seem ok...fills you with glee...dunno, its just mighty good.

well i guess thats enough for now...gnite.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:13:00 a. m.

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miércoles, agosto 14  

im bored, i cant be bothered with work, anyways, its almost time to leave.

i can see the rain far away.....looks like a fog....and the flashes in the sky.

i guess im not as sadish as i was....but still....not happy....*i wanna be loved by youuuu* hehe :p...gee, i better stop that, it might be interprited as happiness...eek.

well the punk net radio is keeping me company

the devo version of "satisfaction" is scary!!!!! my fav version is the live pj harvey with bjork.....now thats a good version.....now, if i keep typing version, i might meet the quota...haha

well i officially had a smile on my face for a few.......i looked out the window and saw a lil squirrelly.....wah!!!! come back squirrelly!!!!!!!!!

i hope i hear a shibby song on the way home, yesterday i got to hear "fade into you" so that made my day....i was all floaty......yay hope sandoval....love her voice.

ok, i guess thats enough verbal waste for now....<3 buh bye.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 5:45:00 p. m.

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its all thundery outside...now that im back in my room, i can see all the clouds better since im surrounded by large windows...mighty eekish.

the bosses men dont even know my hours...one saw me right now and was all like....youre still here?....im all like duh..well of course i didnt say it, but still...some people.

thunders are getting louder...

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 5:16:00 p. m.

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ohh.....its all grayish and stormy outside....somebody said something about a tornado....scary!!!!!!!!! of course i want it to blow through the archives and take all the old stuffs with it..haha...and me too...take me.

right now im somewhat ok...about 10min ago my heart felt mighty bad...like it was ready to burst....

well ive been reading, even though i know that its doing me harm...but its ok...pain in the name of knowledge.

i need to find me a new imaginary love interest...help the days go by......

i hope its not all scaryish when i leave...all i need is to be in an accident...i can see the trees blowing around...eek

ok, more later.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 4:47:00 p. m.

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well right now im feeling really really really mighty mighty really sad......dunno, i was fine earlier, listening to my normal music...now im just....*sigh* maybe it was the sinead o'connor, dunno....but now ive gotten to "creep" and ive been listening to that on repeat.....before that was blur, which also added to the mood....i just know that i really really need somebody...im just too alone....when i get home ill prolly just burrow into my little world and stay there til tomorrow....i dont have anybody...maybe this feeling will wear off in a few, but prolly not..

well, ive got my break in about 15 min and then lab...i dont know if ill read or surf the net for mind numb....either way, ill be hurting my eyes...

its too quiet, right now im just sitting in silence..but not enjoying it.....i guess maybe ill put something happy on....do i have anything happy?....*looks through cds* morrisseys "viva hate"?...haha..no......i wanna listen to sarah brightman, but that will just sadden me up some more....its mood music.....i know, ill listen to kate bush...good ol kate.

ok, enough of my idiocity... :'(

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 3:27:00 p. m.

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well, just got out of the stupid meeting.......my head hurts.....eek

almost time for lunch, so thats good i guess

i had other stuffs that i was gonna write, but ive forgotten......oh well, :p

ok, i guess thats all for now.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 11:52:00 a. m.

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my eyes are still all *ah!!!!* reading is killing my vision, before when i didnt read much i was ok, but now ive been all blurish and such...why am i even doing it? reading i mean...im not reading for pleasure...ive just made up reasons to read....not good reasons mind you....my reasons? "thats supposed to be a good book" "its a classic" "i can say ive read it now" also, one shouldnt read books just cos somebody else like them...not just to have something in common....not just to have something to discuss....im such a bad person, gaining knowledge that i dont deserve, im just gonna drain all the books ive read outta my head.....im bad

well, i cant remain in my nihilistic mood so i guess im back to somewhat normalness...but im still not content....once the person is gone i will be back to myself...no more waiting...

well i saw buffy, so that was good....there was many smiles had....woo

ive been listening to transglobal underground alot....it guess its cos of natacha atlas...i love her voice, plus ive got this thing for middle eastern music....mighty good stuffs...

well today at work im gonna have one of those wonderful historical meetings for 2 hours...eeee

sometimes i think im addicted to water

well i guess thats all...gnite....bye

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 12:23:00 a. m.

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martes, agosto 13  

well, im not feeling as bad as i should...i guess i cant force myself to feel bad, but im still somewhat badish

well, i listened to various gothic disk 1 and now nin.....i used to be so crazy, i would drive with nin on full blast with the windows down, but that was all in some other life...no more...the song closer makes me wanna bounce around...woo

ive noticed that i use the word "well" too much but who cares...im gonna keep doing it..so ha

now its bauhaus time....of course my song by them is "crowds" *sigh* oh well

almost time to go home...oh joy....i think im too crazy for my own good...well whatever....i guess thats all for now......

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 5:35:00 p. m.

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well i still feel sick and my eyes are leaving me...i think its all this computer and then all the reading....im using my eyes too much....then not enough sleep....right now when i was climbing the stairs i looked down and it felt like all the stairs were not ascending, just going straight...dunno...i just know that im gonna drop one of these days...oh well.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 2:53:00 p. m.

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well this morning i listened to "sfw" soundtrack main songs "get your gunn" "say what you want" "so fucking what" and "creep"...i had to linger on creep a few since that is literally my song....oh well, also listened to black tape for a blue girl and elysian fields....*sigh*

id like to do some work right now, but in a few ive got to go to the lab so whats the point...

checked out another book "the bell jar" by sylvia plath...i know im being stupid for checking it out for stupid reasons, but its my heart, and ive got to listen to it.....besides, its supposed to be a good book...so there

*i wish i was special......youre so fucking special.....but im a creep.....im a weirdo......what the hell am i doing here.....i dont belong here...*

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:14:00 p. m.

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well as i was getting ready this morning i decided to listen to the xfiles soundtrack, mainly for the "walking after you" song by foo fighters...well, that just threw me into some sort of loop, it messed with my wireing....see, i was gonna bring some albums that i hadnt listened to in a long time....kate bush, oasis, sugarcubes, instead my mind told me not to bring any happy stuffs...so instead i dusted off my gothic collection and brought enough for all day....bauhaus, apocalyptica, christian death, kmfdm, 3 black tape for a blue girl albums, inkubus sukkubus, nin, gothik 2 disk, sfw soundtrack.....well its not all gothic, but its my nihilistic music....loud, or sad, or just empty....which is what i am........but who cares, nobody does, so i dont either.....oh well

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 9:17:00 a. m.

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ok well ill start with happy stuffs....david bowie and moby performed 2 songs on jay leno...so that was good also, earlier i got to see pj harveys "50 foot queenie" video cos its now on her website...mighty good.

ok, that was the happy stuffs

i wanna see morrissey live!!!!!!!! ive been reading reviews of his current tour and i want to see him!!!!!!

well a while ago i was mega sad...thats what happens when i take time to reflect...thinking = mighty badness

stuff ive learned....relationships?...whatre they?.....all my friends are strangers that i talk to....theyre just like strangers....nobody will like you if you are yourself...lie lie lie......knowledge will be your downfall.

well i think ive been extra sad cos a. my current situation with a certain somebody and b. the book "high fidelity" has just been depressing me with all its relationship talk.

is it wrong to do things so that others will like you...so that you will have something in common....is it wrong to take interest in something that doesnt interest you just so that maybe, just maybe youll have a chance?

maybe if i put my happiness aside and just do whatever then i wont be so disappointed....is happiness really that important im sure over time i wont feel sadness anymore...tears will dry out....face will stay in a constant mask....it cant be too bad....anything is better than nothing....just dont hurt me too much....but then again, ill learn to cope.....

well im going to sleep early today...when i wake up im not gonna expect anything good to happen at work...what for....ill go work and then come home...like a good little robot.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 12:41:00 a. m.

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lunes, agosto 12  

well here i am biting jolly ranchers, i know that ill prolly end up chipping a tooth or something yet i continue to do it, i guess i didnt learn from the blow pop incident...no, i didnt break a tooth, but i did get a jolt of sorts...oh well, heres to walking on the wild side.

i feel mighty sick or something....i feel hot...my eyes hurt...too much computer radiation...my head hurts...i dont know....its just blah

oh, they gave 2 siouxsie & the banshees songs in a row and the damned before that, mighty good stuffs on the punk net radio.....wah

theres purty cloud formations in the sky right now...that lifts my spirits a bit....purty purty clouds...mayhaps ill see some silly shapes....ok, thats just my sickness talking...urgg

well i guess thats all for now...*sigh* i know its gonna happen one day......to me.....sorry, i got lost in thought and song..

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 5:12:00 p. m.

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well, im here in the lab.....eee....stupid people....i already had to help 2......stupid things........oh well...i guess its some excitement in my not so exciting life.

tomorrow i will be in the lab earlier....from 130-230 as opposed to 4-5...oh well..whatever

i watched the "hard to explain" strokes video right now...good song, but iffy video..oh well

gah my life is boring.....gah!!!!!!!!

i guess ill read now. oh joy.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 4:38:00 p. m.

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well im back...woo

had my pbh and coke...yum

well this morning i got to listen to sinead twice through and the strokes and velvet underground & nico...so that was good.

im just gonna continue scanning maps...not the funnest thing in the world... :p

guess im gonna be here all happy and such til the old lady comes and ruins my day....she doesnt let me get things done and no music.....thats gonna drive me mighty batty.

um....well i guess thats all for now...more later...tata

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:06:00 p. m.

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um...well here i am...wooOOOoo

i already had my morning jolly rancher....it was green apple..blah.....but its ok, i eat them all, even the yucky ones.....my fav of course is watermelon...yum

there was a scary pinata in the lounge...it was of spiderman....it looked like a little person spidey...i think its for the staff picnic which i of course am not going to....~ ~ ~spidey sense going off~ ~ ~ hehe

today i decided to wear all black...once again i am gothic archivist...scary!!!!!!!!!

this morning whilst getting ready i was listening to sinead....i also brought one of her albums to listen to here at work, not the second one, the first....i like that one better..."the lion and the cobra"....mighty good, plus it has that song with the enya intro...um..yeah.

i hope it rains again.

um......i guess thats all for now.....more later.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 9:23:00 a. m.

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well, im on sinead disk 2....im waiting for my song to come on.."nothing compares 2 u"....eee

well, i visited my old dead journal....now they have these shibby sailor moon icons!!!! and also, some ewan mcgregor icons...theyre not that great, but theyre ewan!!!!! so love them either way....so i switched my icons to the sailor moon ones...

um....i think thats all for now....should go to sleep....more later when im at work....ok tata.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:44:00 a. m.

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im listening to "tragic kingdom" right now...havent heard it in the longest time....also listened to more cranberries, blur and hole....after no doubt, im gonna listen to sinead!!!!!...the 2 albums that i have....yay!!!!

sings *so please excuse me mister....all i need is a little of your time...im in line to....excuse meeee....excuse me misterrrr* love that song!!!!! eeee

well most of today was spent napping...i hate weekends cos i just go into cat mode...ie...i nap all day long...eat and sleep...i may open a book, but only a hand full of pages will be read...if i like it i may read more....today i also started another book.."high fidelity" by nick hornby...ok, now i have 3 books started....ay ay ay....what to do.....

yay, today was thunderish...a bit rain, somewhat gloom, and thunder!!!!!

um....um....um....i guess thats all that happen today..boring i know...well, atleast when i wake up today ill get to be bored at work..much better than being bored at home.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 12:11:00 a. m.

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domingo, agosto 11  

oh yeah, i forgot to mention that the new kmart joe boxer commerical scares me....the one with the dancing boxer brief guy...its mighty disturbing, especially those faces he makes...and jumping around like a bunny.."bunnies arent cute like everybody supposes.."...eek....haha...ok, now im done...hehe

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 3:54:00 a. m.

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um i wish i could be some place where nobody knew me...i could start out fresh being the person that i am, and not act as the person i should be...now, who am i?

this is scary!!!!, well not really scary but...um...dunno....anyways, im wearing my high school freshman band shirt to sleep, it has a 1995 on it....its scary that i still have it, and its scary that its so long ago....its scary that im sooooo old....its scary where i am in life right now...its scary where im not in life right now....its scary that im alone...its scary that im giving too much thought to an old shirt...eeeeeeee!!!!!

i was talking about this the other day with somebody and well....ive discovered that people are people are people...even if theyre crass and evil and selffish..or if i think them that way...well...theyre still fine....im the problem....the reason im alone isnt the people...its me....im the problem....but i guess ive always known that....its just kinda hard to finally accept...oh well....i wish i could be happy and fun person...really, i do...and i wish that i didnt worry about every little detail.....i wish i could just wake up and be a different person with a different life....maybe it would all be simpler if i didnt wake up.....hmmm....sometimes it just all seems too much....im just gonna lock myself in my room and cry all the time....oh well

"..Life is hard enough when you belong here..."

um....i guess thats all for now....til later i guess....

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 3:48:00 a. m.

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woo...theyre showing the snl with the strokes, ive already seen this one like 3 or 4 times, cant remember, but i love it so much...well not the eppy so much, but the strokes!!!! theyre so great...everybody go get their album....its mighty good...all the songs are mighty good...plus, it doesnt hurt that a couple of them are nice to look at...but still, theyre brilliant!!! even if they did copy velvet underground...which of course is one of my fav bands of all time...and incidently, the drummer has the velvet underground banana album t-shirt on....also, if you notice during the end of the second song, julian, the singer messes up the end, and after he kisses the drummer, you can see him mouth the words "i fucked it up" or something like that...but its still mighty shibby...so in closing, strokes=woo

well today i cleaned my room somewhat...rearranged my cds...again!!!! they just cant seem to stay orderly...and its such a pain, but now its done...should stay clean for about a few days....but its ok for now....

today i listened to crannberries, morrissey and the bloodhound gang...hadnt listened to the bloodhound gang in like a long time..."one fierce beer coaster" is such a good album for what it is...i know i wouldnt seem one to listen to this, but really, if you can get over the content, most of the songs are listenable...well anyways, i like it...mighty good

it rained a bit today...just a bit...also, napped a bit.....and read a bit of "catch-22"...dunno if it interested me enough....it was all sorts of bitish today....hmmm

had a cracker supper...crackers and juice...eeee

lalalalalala.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 12:28:00 a. m.

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sábado, agosto 10  

ok, well i guess my bonkerness was heard, cos now the thingers are working...woo

um...more later.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 11:34:00 p. m.

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gah!!! everything is drving me bonkers....everything is going wonky...msn, imood thinger, tag-board thinger, blob thinger....

my head hurts....msn keeps signing in and out....

ok, im done with my complainingness

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 3:20:00 a. m.

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nothing else happen at work...just all sorts of boringness...um...a coworker was listening to debbie gibson...that sent me and her into nostalgia land...she also had a tiffany cd, but it didnt get to hear...we started talking about the 80s and all its novelties...i guess it was kinda fun....i got visited by one old lady and saw computer guy wondering around...other than that nothing much.

i listened to bowie, morrissey, and blur....im still in love with damon albarns voice.....its just mighty mighty yummy...but only in some songs... :p

i was flipping channels and i saw the cranberries on a mexican show....that was cool, i hadnt seen them in a while...so after that i got in a cranberry mood...so i listened to that...ill prolly be listening to them for the next couple of days..

i wonder what book ill start next...i dont have book 4 of harry potter yet, so dunno...i guess i could continue with that book that i never finished, but i prolly already forgot whats happen in it...dunno....oh well

ok, thats all....til later...

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 3:06:00 a. m.

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viernes, agosto 9  

well, we just had another cake day...ive just gotten back..me, i got fruit...i feel sick now........during the little party thing everybody was all like *woo* and i was on the wall....just waiting for it to end......i just felt so alone there...alone and sick....*sigh*

whenever i feel like this it helps to read shibby emails that have been sent by shibby people.....i know im stupid for keeping them, but they really do put a smile on my face everytime i read them, even though ive read them many times before...i guess its the second best thing to having the person in front of you....but it makes me smile inside. :( :) :(

................

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 10:05:00 a. m.

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well here i am...again and again and again.......eeeee

on a brighter note, my friend is back from cali..so UBERWOOO!!!!!!!!!!

this morning i was watching sesame street and rem was on....they were doing a monster rendition of shiny happy people complete with kate pierson muppet...but of course the lyrics were changed, but it was still very shibby.

last night i watched david bowie from when he came out with carson daly....it had been on the night before, but it was too late to stay up and watch......he did 2 songs which was mighty good.

its all gloomy and grey outside....my kind of day.

yesterday there was a mishap with a gel tube..when i got home it was all splattered...apperantly i had failed to close it correctly so there was this little puddle of gel.....eek.

so once again...welcome back corndog!!!!!!!! now im all like :)

ok, enough merryment....more later.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 9:20:00 a. m.

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um...im too tired to write anything...um...i did finish the 3rd harry potter book...so yay

well, thats it....tired.......bye.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:28:00 a. m.

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jueves, agosto 8  

oooh....an interesting version of "i think we're alone now" by lene lovich is on right now.....its purty shibby....i love that song

um.......i had a piece of pbh and some jolly ranchers....and water......*sigh*...oh well, its something i guess

well, theres some cloudies in the sky...theyre mildly interesting.....

well i guess thats it....wow am i boring...woOOO!!!!!!!

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 5:23:00 p. m.

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well......im back from moving boxes...blarg....and it was all sorts of mighty hotness going on...hot!!!!!! well as soon as we got back to the library it started raining!!!!!!! its all cos of the tropical depression....atleast i didnt get wet....oh well.....well, it might have been fun.....hmmmm.....well its already stopped and all seems to be returning to the norm.

almost time for lab....well, ill get to read some more.

um.......i guess thats it for now.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 3:09:00 p. m.

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well here i am....my internet wasnt working for a while.....but now all is full of love.....er...or something like that

in a hour im gonna have to go carry more boxes of books again....eek

read some during lunch.....

um...um.....today ive listened to anoushka shankar, velvet underground and nico, and now punk net radio...woo

i guess thats it...nothing interesting has happened...oh well.....mayhaps more later.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:06:00 p. m.

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nothing nothing nothing nothing.......

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 12:59:00 a. m.

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miércoles, agosto 7  

back from lunch...eagerly awaiting zee ol ladiessss....eek

nothing much was done

ive gotta scan some maps..blarg

a coworker said that she liked my abnormally colored black hair...i guess thats good.

ok...more later.....ta

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:13:00 p. m.

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well here i am...yay!!!!! or not.....dunno.....hehe

well, now i can wear my weird hair styles cos its a normal color.....well in an abnormal kinda way, but blah

its so sad!!!!!!! the actor from the passions soap opera died...the one who played timmy the doll....while i wasnt a big fan of the show, i was known to occationally watch 1 or 2....death is always sad.

today is gonna be another jolly rancherish day....woo, sugar!!!!!!!!

im such a freak, me and my mood swings....happy sad happy sad happy sad nothing sad happy.....woo

i so hope that the old ladies dont come in early....theyre like a mobile headache......i can feel it already

ok well, more later....bye

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 9:22:00 a. m.

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ok well, i was gonna write before i left work, but i got busy, anyway...mostly i wanted to say yay cos they played velvet underground on the punk net radio...of course i was doing back flips and everything...also, like 20 more min to go til i leave and who do i see arrive?...computer guy of course...i tried not to be too distracted...but i still was...but i did do my work..so that was good

next time i want to dye my hair or something, just remind me about this incident...so, after work i went to target and got some gel and some hair dye...of course i eyed the music section, but this time i didnt take any home :( so anyway, i did my hair again, and now its just black...all black...no more this and that and skunky, just back...thats that....finally now i can let my head rest...plus, no more paranoia

well, i got home at like 7 so i was all running so that i wouldnt miss buffy, i was home just in time...so woo

stray cat!!!! i was graced with her wonderfulness today...

um....it was a very jolly rancher day.....mmok thats about it.....til later....

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:27:00 a. m.

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martes, agosto 6  

well im stuck here with a buncha weirdos in the lab...yes, mullet girl is here....haha....and some stupid little kid that keeps looking my way...his brother, who was here before, stopped web surfing as soon as the little brother arrived...hm....very odd...oh well, it amuses me....yay.......ok, im gonna read now......for real this time.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 4:23:00 p. m.

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oh, i read that today is andy warhols birthday....so *shouts* HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDY!!!!!!! of course we have to thank him for the heavenly brewing of velvet underground and nico, and many shibby lou reed songs....and also, the "andy warhol" david bowie song...so....woo!!!!!!!!!

well, the saga starts again....attack of the killer old ladies...theyre back after a 2 week hiatus...urg, of course i almost threw myself off the stairs when i heard that they were coming.......but oh well...but they did disrupt my david bowie listening.....blah

well i read during lunch, so yay...and ill prolly read some right now.

my current amusement is playing with paper clippys...well more like torture them...but its all in my fun....hehe

ok, thats all for now...til whenever....bye

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 4:08:00 p. m.

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well ive been doing boring stuffs here.....but eh

i listened to my mix cd...yay.....and now im listening to the cure....havent listened to them in a while..."kiss me kiss me kiss me".....i was listening to the song "one more time"..i think its called....well thats always been one of my favs....so i heard it like 4 times....woo......and of course the mighty shibby "just like heaven"...thats one of my all time songs.....it makes me melt away and feel happy for a while....

my hair?....its doing fine, thanks for asking....haha......ay ay ay......sometimes i kill myself...ok, im done being silly

almost time for lunch....woo......not WOO.....just woo

buffy tonight...that deserves a big WOO!!!!!!

sings *shes got betty davis eyes..*..haha, i was listening to that a while ago, thats one of the songs on my mix cd..haha..yes, i need to be slapped......*slaps self*

ok, im done for now...til the laters

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 11:50:00 a. m.

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well here i am again.....still paranoid about my hair......prolly when i get out of work im just gonna buy any normal hair dye and do that....less stress...plus, i need some gel.

yay, i made another mix cd....so now ill have that to listen to today...well that and david bowie!!!!!!

well, im not feeling sadness at the moment....itll prolly set in later, but now im cool as a cucumber....um...yes...haha

my whole ordeal might be over today, and maybe not.....we will see

dunno how i feel about gwen paltrow.....hm...cant decide if i like her or hate her....requires more study

well ive got to recheck like 3 of my books again...eee.......oh well..*sigh*

ok, well thats all for now.....more later....*waves*

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 9:15:00 a. m.

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well after work i just felt mighty blah...didnt want to do anything....no reading....no tv....no nothing....

some i wonder what im doing....what am i doing?....why do i do certain things?....maybe i should just quit being myself and try to be normal....i just mess everything up....

well one good thing, buffy tonight...so yay

thats all ive got to say..........

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 12:11:00 a. m.

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lunes, agosto 5  

*sigh* im feeling mighty blue.......i was reading some old emails....and now i just feel worse......unloved....i cant wait to get home....just wish there was somebody......

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 5:51:00 p. m.

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What color should your hair be?!

well, it is.....

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 4:25:00 p. m.

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my head hurts....well atleast its almost lunch time..ill get some reading done...hopefully......

ok well more later then.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 11:47:00 a. m.

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ok well i woke up and my hair was too purple grey blue....so in the hour that i usually use to get ready, i was all running around dying my hair blue black....well, blue black isnt meant for light hair..haha......it makes your hair look......blue blue black....so now im all paranoid.....it looks grey and navy blue and a little black...and im somewhat stained...and my nails are all stained....and my arms......looks like ive got bruises...and a blue scalp...eek....i wonder what theyll tell me.....if anything......hmm we'll see

so thats what im doing right now....stressing myself....whever ive wanted grey hair, ive never been able to get it....now that i just wanted brown hair.....ay ay ay.......so im just waited to be called to talk to boss man cos hes back from his vacation.......hopefully hes a little blind....*please*

i just ate my dinner rolls mighty fast......i...well....lets just see how the day progresses

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 9:47:00 a. m.

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eeeeekkk ok well im messing with my hair....eekkk

first i bleached and now ive dyed....but..but...it looks grey!!!!! eek.....the bottle says brown....eek...bewitching brown...eek...not bewitching grey...eek...if it still looks bad when i wake up, maybe im gonna have to do the black before i go to work...eek....ay ay ay...i hope i dont stay all stained like last time, my first day of work i was stained from dying my hair..now again....my nails are all blue....so again i say...EEEKKKKK!!!!...well, ive added more and a few drops of black...maybe it will look better....eek

well today my family had a lil i guess party thingy for my niece...of course i was the only one that remained roomed...now, im not a meany, i just dont like family...hm....well maybe im a meany...haha....but still....eek

i read the final 130 pages of 2nd harry potter book and 100 pages of the 3rd book....all this reading cant be good for you...haha

well today my cell rang and of course like an idiot i thought that it was a certain somebody...of course it wasnt, it was just a wrong number *cries*.....oh well

EEEKKKKKK....my hair.....and ive got a big stain on my arm....that will teach me for messing with nature...

oh yea, i also got a hair cut...so woo

ok well...thats all, leave me to my worrying....eek.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:18:00 a. m.

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domingo, agosto 4  

have you seen the new comercial for the low rise jeans?....its really shibby....if im not mistaken, it stars the muy shibby gael garcia bernal...im purty sure....anyways, as i said, really cool...i saw it whilst watching snl....pink scares me...shes mighty butch....seriously, she has a mans body...eek....

today i started reading the 2nd harry potter book....thats what i did for most of the day....so i got through 212 pages....ill finish the rest tomorrow and start on the 3rd book....wah.

right now im going through a really difficult time.....its mighy trying....my heart and brain are being put to the test....its just disrupting my whole being....i cant even decide what color to do my hair, ive got 2 to chose from, and thats the easy problem....and i cant even solve that...i dont even know if i still want a hair cut.....ay ay ay ....my head hurts....but atleast im not sad today...just..disappointed

i miss my friend....he will be back soon....yay

todays supper was a pack of crackers and water....woo

watched some buffy, so that was good

and the vagueness insues....huh?...what?....exactly....

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 2:08:00 a. m.

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sábado, agosto 3  

lalala....kinda sleepy right now....yawn....

um....nothing new.....well, i guess i could preorder the new pulp album...finally its gonna come to the states....wah

isnt shiri appleby purty....well i think shes mighty purty....*cries* roswell.....where are you.......come back to me.....anyway, my point was that shiri appleby is swell....whyd i bring her up?...theres an article about her in the current issue of a.p.

theres some candys in the fridge, but i cant have any cos they contain lil animalys in them....dairy and or gelatin....oh well...

thats it....im too tired....eek

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 3:54:00 a. m.

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viernes, agosto 2  

um.....didnt really do much for lunch....had a coke and help in the tech dept....and walked around....meh

still listening to bowie.....*lalala*

its kinda empty today...peoples....where are you?.....well just shibby peoples, not annoying ones.

i finished all the files and one scrap book....yay

i had a weird dream this morning after going back to sleep because of the cell phone...well i was in church and people from high school were there as well as people from big brother..haha.....well 2 girls from school had white hair and white dresses.....and i was sitting in a bench and my cell wouldnt stop ringing.....and then i threw some rice at other people...and the minister asked if anybody wanted to speak or something for the 2 remaining hours...nobody said anything so he said that we would have to sing a 2 hour long hymn......so they were passing the hymns out.....dunno........weird.....haha

right now im kinda at a loss of drive...dont know what to do next......hm......also, ill prolly get the lil old lady in like and hour or 2......

its funny cos the library doesnt open til 1 on fridays, yet there are people breaking doors down at like 10-11-12.....its as if theyve never been to......dunno where these people come from....

one of these days id like to visit rand mcnally....haha.....if you know what im talking about....well then ill give you a cookie...a or carrot.....or something...but woo...thumbs up.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 2:10:00 p. m.

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i think that im starting to enjoy jimmy eat world a little too much....i like their current 2 songs.......eek....they gave them both this morning on 2 dif radio stations.....oh well.....so again i say....eek!!!!!

well of course im listening to bowie right now...i heard it before i got here and now im listening to it again....yay

saw my stray cat before leaving the house.. :)

the cell phone is killing me.....this morning it woke me up at like 630......and then that same number called like 8 more times from 630-800 and then a different number called me twice.....me thinks it was the same person but from a dif location....i guess i should have answered to see what it was.....but i didnt know either number......hm...dunno....

speaking of cell phone, last night whilst speaking to somebody..well they live near the train tracks...so i got to hear the train...yay......well yay for me but prolly urg for them......it must be horrible.....but for me it was all yay......

i think after work im gonna buy some hair dye...prolly blueblack.....but dunno.......ive been known to look at the hair dyes for about 30 min whilst i scan them all over twice or even thrice through.....eek....you should see me at the movie rentals.....scary.

well i guess thats all for now.....ba

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 9:20:00 a. m.

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well when i got home i had a package waiting for me....the new david bowie cd...well not really new, cos its a reissue...so its the new old david bowie....um...huh.....exactly....also, the new issue of a.p.....so i was like double yay...

so ive been listening to bowie all evening....wah

of course upn came back the day after buffy....argh...

guess thats all....eh

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 12:49:00 a. m.

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jueves, agosto 1  

almost time to go home....feeling all zombieish......oh well......til later.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 5:35:00 p. m.

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nothing much today.....pretty blah....just had the other half of the pbh and some water....ohh too exciting

got my check a few minutes ago....its gonna be eaten by my credit card....eek

um..i guess im just gonna read.....oh well........

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 4:08:00 p. m.

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well during lunch i was walking the book shelves as usual...and what do i see? i see the 3rd harry potter book....the one that was previously unavailable..so of course im all like *shriek* and had to get it even though i already had the other 5 books out...so now i have book 2 and 3 or harry potter to read....i just dont know what im gonna do with myself....also, during lunch i was somewhat unhungry....so i had half a pbh and a coke...eh....looking the book store...not much...buncha crap.....blah

i guess thats all to address.....more later..mayhaps.....bye.

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 1:09:00 p. m.

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well im here......yes i am.......yay

um....oh oh oh.....mah stray cat has come back!!!!!!!!!!! so i was all like *mighty yay!!!* so my mom already feed her.......yay....i love my stray cat!!!!!!!! <3 :)

today i AM gonna do work...even if it kills me......im just alittle tired from moving things yesterday...but its all good

somebody told me that the way i dress for work was a goth-punk-geek amalgamation...i guess....but.....its me :(

shibby, the punk net radio has started putting different songs.....wah

my new fav song?....fiona apples "across the universe"......why?.....hehe

today i just have a normal hair style, no wind blown look.

um.....i guess thats all for now........tata

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 9:15:00 a. m.

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sorry, nothing right now....just going to sleep already....more later...maybe

posted by Cosmic Dancer | 2:20:00 a. m.

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